Why do women hold grudges

Your former friend and ex might have always had feelings for each other behind your back. Consider this your how-to guide. What is a grudge exactly? Recommended for you. They get easily upset and angered, for example, and will dwell on things outside of their control, like what others think, past events that already happened, etc, making themselves more and more upset or angry. People who are given a very entitled type of upbringing where they're made to believe that everything bad that happens to them is a result of them being a victim of society, for example, will often become sensitive this way and hold grudges, want to set the entire world straight, etc, with an unhealthy obsession on fairness.

Both males and females can become this way. It depends on how they are brought up. Take a bully victim, as an example, male or female. If they are bullied and adults come to their aid and are like, "You poor baby, you don't deserve this. Who are the bullies? Let's go talk to their parents," then we feed the child's ego and victim complex. They're made to feel helpless against the bullying. Those types will typically hold grudges. If instead we said, "You need to stand up for yourself.

Stay firm, avoid provoking a fight, but don't let the bullies get the better of you," then we don't feed the victim complex. We feed a side of a person who becomes mentally stronger and will not be broken down by what others think or do to them.

Tougher upbringings that breed mental strength tend to create people who don't hold grudges. Softer upbringings that make children feel more special and entitled like, "Everyone is a winner and you can do no wrong" tend to create sensitive people with fragile egos, a victim complex, and often the types who hold grudges even over petty things.

What do you think of people who also give the silent treatment and deny that what you did hurt them when you try to apologize. Do these go hand to hand with holding grudges? For me inner peace boils down to not getting so hurt by these things in the first place, but it can be therapeutic for those who are to at least communicate.

If they keep it all pent up inside while still being hurt, then those types tend to entertain all sorts of negative thoughts with that pent-up stress, and grudges could be included among them. It takes something very dramatic to upset her and genuinely bother her, but in those very rare circumstances where she does actually get upset, she's very good about communicating it instead of keeping it all pent up inside. Not sure about the psychology there easily. That sounds more like trust issues, for example.

People who develop those tend to forget that optimal strategies are more important to focus on than outcomes. It's like a poker player who starts folding every hand because he ran into pocket aces, changing his strategy to an extremely sub-optimal one just because he got screwed once or twice, pretty much sealing their fate to just lose money over and over.

Funny, isn't it? Shit happens man. You gotta move on! Agreed BellePepper! I wouldn't try to explain anything to this guy though he seems to have some kind of comprehension issue -lol. ArkabrataDatta No we never forget Always think before saying something.

Are you some kind of Superhuman? ArkabrataDatta Do you have Autism or something? Already playing the autism card eh? Well, that's not so nice of you. Being a 31 year old, you should act more mature. How does culture have to do anything with this? So have a nice day. ArkabrataDatta If I have to explain it to you then it's not worth it. You obviously have an issue understanding certain things. Hence why I suggest you may have Autism. The researchers theorize that it could be evolutionary.

Way, way back in the day men would have to go out and hunt and work with other men to provide for their family so it would be in their best interest to drop any beefs and just get along. However, women stayed closed to home with the job of defending their family so naturally they would want to keep their guard up.

For us, time and space is the best remedy. I also think holding a grudge is a form of control. It gives a sense that you are right, and the other person is wrong. The grudge holder also gets to control the timing and nature of the relationship. Often grudges are held deeply because of misinformation. We assume someone's intent, and we are wrong. Holding a grudge may have worked for you, but don't allow it to rob you of peace of mind.

Move beyond the animosity and see things for what they are. You don't need others' approval and forgiveness. One person's words can only affect you as much as you allow. As a motivational women speaker, I share with women some of the tools they can use to understand ourselves and move past our differences.

Topics: female motivational speakers , leadershipspeakers , funnyfemalemotivationalspeakers , femalecommunication , holdagrudge. Topics All guest speaker motivational speaker leadership meeting planner event education speakers.

Why do women hold grudges longer than men? When it comes to our communication patterns and behaviors, men and women are very different. It's How We Handle Conflict. Women want to talk it out, and men want to solve it. Grudges come in when we avoid confrontation to nurture relationships or protect feelings. Silently stew over a grudge, and it lasts much longer.

Men and Women's Brains Work Very Differently According to research in the book, Results at the Top , Men tend to be more factual in their thought and action, while women tend to be more intuitive.