Is it normal to fight before your wedding

By committing to creating a shared life together, you will automatically experience friction, tension and resistance as you built your relationship. Your credit score may hold the answer. So, if you are someone who is to be married soon, and you feel that you and your partner are struggling with repetitive conflict, I encourage you to consider the following thoughts.

More often than not, you will find that what you and your partner are deeply seeking to know are the answers to questions of:. Is it really safe for me to share my deepest thoughts and feelings with you? All couples have their own way of fighting for control in their relationship. Through self-awareness and a heightened awareness of your relationship patterns, you can identify your part in the cycle and begin to respond in better, healthier ways.

Active listening is the ability to tune into your partner, hear what they say and mirror repeat or summarize back to them what you heard them say. This removes any responsibility or need for you to have to fix, react emotionally to or refute, what your partner shares. When you practice simply doing your part to mirror your partner back, the results may be shocking. This is because when you are listened to, it is extremely validating and affirming. You feel understood. As the active listener, you may not understand or agree with whatever your partner is sharing.

And that is what marriage is truly about. Avoiding conflict will only prolong it. The longer you wait to address issues, the more they will fester and blow up in other areas of your relationship later, much messier and more fueled by resentment, frustration or anger. It's the responsibility of each person to know when they are experiencing those previously mentioned emotions the vulnerable ones that are usually avoided.

It is the duty of each person to be accountable to themselves and the relationship and to bring these things up. But no one talks about this , or the fact that it so frequently happens in the month or, sometimes, days leading up to the wedding. I think it would be massively helpful to have a survey out there showing just how many people have these fights, in what time frame, and exactly how bad the fight is.

We had our blowout a couple weeks in advance, and we were totally chill in the lead up to our wedding, but a few friends have had awful rows the day before. You ask, we answer.

So here is a survey hopefully designed to make us all feel better about those pre-wedding fights:. Did you have a fight before your wedding? If so, what was it about? Did it rattle you? How did you resolve it? She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and two children. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene. This is a different issue. Those fundamental fights you need to pay attention to. For example, if you have an ongoing issue with your mother in law that has you wanting to avoid all family affairs, this needs to be resolved.

If you have a fight with your mother in law about the exact cake for your wedding, take a step back. Speak to your partner about them and work together to find common ground.

Use your engagement to resolve them instead. Posted in Expert Advice, Planning, Pre-wedding by wedded wonderland. Join Our Mailing List.