Kramer why don you just

What you call wasting, I call living. No, tell me. Do you have a job? Well, now you know how I feel. Like an orange. Which is rare there. Is that so selfish?

What do you need it for after you read it? I mean, like if you were locked in a vomitorium for two weeks, could you actually die from the odour? The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on.

How do they get the caffeine out of there and then where does it go? How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity. Completely turn the tables. Especially on a kid. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry.

Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship? You know you could let the house go. Sometimes all you need is one unforgettable moment to make a Seinfeld episode — and here, Jerry clapping his fingers together for the Tweety bird Pez dispenser is that moment. What a stupid episode, right? Sure, but TV is stupid, and even with the heaps of praise that Seinfeld receives, it can be plenty stupid in ways both good and bad.

Tightly scripted, thoroughly reprehensible. Classic George. Newman, as you can imagine, is a fan. Nazi leader George Costanza — what will his parents think? But you know what? George has told a lot of lies — a lot of lies — throughout Seinfeld , but his pretending to be a marine biologist to impress a former classmate-cum-love-interest is one of his greatest and most flimsy.

And yet, he almost pulls it off. More physical-comedy genius from Richards, too, as he shakes sand out of his pockets following a disastrous golfing day at the beach. Also: George in a toupee. The people who run the Roasters restaurant chain liked this episode so much that they actually held a Seinfeld -themed party for their employees. A lot of exposition around a broken condom and a possible pregnancy builds to one of the best endings of the entire series, as George repulses his girlfriend Cynthia with his slovenly eating habits.

Also, the woman playing Cynthia? A pre-Janice-from- Friends Maggie Wheeler, using her real voice. Answers: Probably not; definitely. And what happened to the briefcase with the secret recording device that George left in the room to find out? The answer to the second question is complicated. The answer to the first is obvious. In which Puddy reveals himself to be the most fervent Devils fan possible, as captured by TV cameras. George always wanted to name a child Seven.

They probably both love Seinfeld. The montage of George pretending to be handicapped at Play Now! Plus: an early glimpse of Kramer-as- kavorka , as he romances a young librarian and nearly destroys her career. Eat it up, Georgie boy! Instead of standing up for the guy and asking his good friend, Yev to cut him some slack, Kramer ordered him to leave the premises.

Seinfeld 's finale disappointed fans on many accounts , one of which was Kramer filming a carjacking victim in the fictional town of Latham, Massachusetts. It was Kramer who had jumped up and down the plane and caused it to crash land in the first place. As the gang made their way into the town to recover from the shock of the crash landing, they witnessed a helpless boy getting mugged at gunpoint.

Kramer turned on his camcorder and started to film the robbery. The rest of the gang followed his lead and made cruel jokes about the boy. They were put in jail for violating the Good Samaritan Law, and their trial turned into a media circus. Quite shockingly, this was first thing that came out of Kramer's mouth when he met George's new girlfriend Janet in "The Cartoon. While she didn't seem to mind the unpleasant remark, George was visibly upset—but that didn't deter Kramer from suggesting George was secretly in love with Jerry while everyone stared at him in disbelief.

In "The Engagement" when a loud Yorkshire Terrier kept her up all night, Kramer, the vile rogue suggested they kidnap it and drop it off upstate. He enlisted Newman's help, and together they rode in a rental car to commit the crime. After driving for a while, Kramer abandoned the dog in Monticello at a stranger's doorstep. But, before he walked off, the dog tore a tag off his shirt.

It found its way back to the owner, and the three dognappers were traced in no time. Cop: Shut up. Jerry: Hot out. Guy: Brutal. George: What do you tip a chamber maid.

Guy: I don't know, five bucks a night. Jerry: No, a dollar, two tops. Guy: Hey, you guys aren't cuffed. What are you, narks? George: Narks? Jerry: Imagine, us narks? George: No no no, you know actually we are friends of a serial killer.

Guy: Really? Well, that's very nice. George: Oh, thank you. Jerry: Suspected serial killer, he didn't actually do it. George: Yeah well, we don't think. Jerry: We're pretty sure. Guy: A dollar a night?

Jerry: Yeah, that's a good tip! Guy: That stinks! Jerry: I read it in Ann Landers. Guy: Oh, Ann Landers sucks! Cop 2: Hey, shut it up back there. Police radio: Attention all units, attention all units, all units code 3. All units in the area, code 3 in progress, North Bartholis, units required for assistance in apprehension of Cop: That's smog strangler.

Jerry: Kramer. Cop 2: Got him. Let's go. George: I don't know why I'm doing this. Martel: You are under arrest in first degree murder and death of Ms Chelsea Lang.

What possessed you? Kramer: I don't know Jerry: We're doing fine. Kramer: What me? Fabulous, just fabulous. I've got a lot of auditions, a lot of call backs and I've got a lot of interest for my movie treatment. I'm in development, I'm in developed vehicles. And there's a lot of energy here, man. You know, the vibe, it's powerful. I'm just swept up at it. Yeah, I'm a player. George: A player? Kramer: Yeah, a player Jerry: Kramer, do you realize what's going on here?

Do you know why you're here? Kramer: What? What this? I'll be out of here in couple of hours. Hey, guess who I met today? Rick Savage, oh nice kid, really good kid.

You know, we're talking about doing a project together. Jerry: Kramer, you've been arrested as a serial killer! Kramer: So? I'm innocent! I mean you guys believe that I'm innocent, don't you? Jerry: Well, yeah Police: Kramer, let's go. The Lieutenant wants to see you. Kramer: Ok, yeah. All right look, I'll be out of here by noon. Maybe we'll have lunch together, huh? Help me! I swear to God! Martel: Don't you ever swear to my God, Kramer. My God is the god who protects the innocent and punishes the evil scum like you, have you got that?

Kramer: You're making a big mistake. Martel: No! You have made the mistake, Kramer. Sickies like you always do. The only difference is that this time you're gonna pay. Martel: Now you might beat the gas chamber Kramer, but as long as I have got a breath in my body you will never ever see the light of day again. Kramer: Wow wow wow wow, you've got the wrong man!! It wasn't me! Martel: Oh yeah, right. Maybe it was one of your other personalities huh, the wise guy, the little kid, the bellhop, the ball player, maybe the door to door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not you right?

No, you wouldn't hurt a fly. You just couldn't help yourself, could you Kramer? You saw life brimming brightly with optimism and verve and you just had to snuff it out.

Kramer: Ok, can I just talk to somebody? Can I just explain Martel: I'm not interested in your explanations, Kramer! Sure, I bet you've got a million of 'em. Maybe your mother didn't love you enough, maybe the teacher didn't call on you in school when you had your little hand raised, maybe the pervert in the park had a present in his pants, huh? Well, I've got another theory Kramer: you're a weed. Kramer: No Martel: Society is filled with them.

They're choking the life out of the all pretty flowers. Martel: You see something even remotely pretty and you have to choke the life out if it, don't you Kramer? Martel: You killed all the pretty flowers, didn't you Kramer? You killed the pretty little flowers, didn't you? You dirty, filthy, stinky weed! Didn't you? Martel: Martel Martel: Let him go. Officer: What, but Lieutenant?

Martel: You heard me, let him go. They just found another body at the Laurel Canyon. Go on Kramer, get out of my sight. Kramer: Hey, how did you know about the guy in the park? Martel: I said beat it! Jerry: What happened? Kramer: Somebody got killed while they had me in custody.